As many of you know I have recently (by recently I mean In that last year) had what some may call a moment of clarity or a life changing experience. And though it is true it’s a growing process and the more I go along this path the more I learn. I first discovered that the answer was love. Then love started revealing new things to me like forgiveness. I rediscovered old friendships and mended wounds with family. I discovered a peace with in myself and realized that no one is responsible for my happiness but my self. Now that is easier said then done I know, sometimes sadness cannot be avoided.
Today on my way to work I was at a school standing outside waiting for the gates to be opened and I heard a sob I turned to my right and saw a woman who I have seen almost every school day for the past 4 months. She had tears streaming down her face as her two friends struggled to keep her composed. With out a care of the dozens of people around her she sobbed and a pure unrelenting grief pored from her, I found myself feeling a great sadness for the woman. My mind raced with questions of how she had arrived to this moment of complete and utter surrender to her emotions.
As I waited for the child I was there to pick up the woman that was crying came to the class where her daughter was there with a smile to greet her mother. She sobbed even more and hugged her baby girl rocking back and forth sobbing. Some woman took the girl by the arm and lead her away.
Maybe her husband had died or she was losing custody due to divorce or maybe she lost another child, maybe I watch to many movies and it was much more simple. But one thing I do know, I excepted love and forgiveness and a new life into my heart but this comes with a price because understanding and feeling love in your life opens you to another world and this world is not always roses and palm trees. It opens you to the pain around you, you notice the woman crying on the subway you see the pain and suffering everywhere and worst of all you care And you feel helpless.
This is a price I would gladly pay for a truer and happier future, but it is not a small one. I guess maybe that’s why it takes people so long to figure this out because believing in the power of love means you have to except something beyond science, beyond theory, and beyond anything that can be explained. It’s magical and I’m not talking about the butterfly’s you feel in your stomach when you see someone you love, I’m talking about the very flow of life itself, how a touch can change a life how a smile can brighten a day how a true act of love can turn even the hardest of hearts to tears and that is something that will always leave us venerable. It bares our soul to the world on an emotional level while instinct is pushing us to close to minimize the possible hurt.
Now on one level it may seem like a crappy life walking around seeing the hurt and pain everywhere and feeling the pain of your friends but it’s not it’s awesome it’s like my eyes are open for the first time and I see things I never saw before. Because not only did I see the woman crying today but I also saw another mother who did not know her comfort the sobbing woman and with genuine concern and care in her eyes she showed she cared. And that is the flow or balance I spoke of because where there is hurt there needs to be love to mend it and where there is love there is sadness to show that we should treasure our love we have I our hearts, because with out sadness and pain love is meaningless.
We as people may disagree about religion, god and many other things, but one thing is for sure that no matter what you can trace every good thing in this world back to some actionof love. And that is something I have to live by.
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